Wow, I was so ready to come back to College Station this past weekend. As I visited with several friends in College Station during my 24 1/2 hours drive, I grew extremely happy and excited to see everyone, but as I arrived this excitement seemed to change to discomfort and feeling out of place. After the welcome back party at my house and everyone had parted, I felt out of place and not ready to be back in College Station. I think these feelings were stemming from the thoughts of being selfish. In Uganda, I was able to envelope myself into serving the people of Keyo and I had invested my whole self into it. Here at school, I was having extreme feelings of selfishness. Thoughts of schooling being all for my gain and not having opportunities to put my whole self into serving others around me made me a little depressed. I remember wanting to be back in Uganda so badly. Being at home in Hansel Valley was so perfect to reflect and truly digest my experiences in Uganda, especially putting on a fireside of what I had learned. I want so badly to just serve people and live for others. But, being back in College Station I felt so lost.
I cannot wait for my little teaching gig to start up again here in a couple weeks. I love working with my GED students and honestly, I am just as excited to see my students, as I was to see all my friends. It will be great to be with them again and be able to help them.
I am happy I was able to experience some of the feelings I did coming back to Texas. I recognize now that I am not being as selfish as I was feeling that first night. The schooling and training I am receiving now is preparing me to be a better servant in the future. What I am learning here is preparing me to be a better husband, father, teacher, public servant, etc. in the future. The Lord has blessed me with this opportunity and I hope to make the most of it. He is teaching me daily and I am recognizing more and more that if I take time to listen and reflect on those teachings, He is blessing me tenfold.
I am looking forward to serving my classmates, my professors, my students, my fellow ward members and my Lord throughout this season of my life.
Bill- I remember feeling exactly the same way when I got back from D.R.C. last summer. The important thing is to remember that your education is going to allow you to make that much more of a positive impact on others' lives. That longing to be back in Uganda will never go away. I'd like to say it gets easier, but for me it never did. Field work is like an addiction - which can only really be cured through more field work. So hurry up and get back out here!
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